I remember when I was probably in Jr. High and I was out somewhere (probably at the mall…I don’t remember all the details). There were parents sitting at a table with their 2 or 3 year old daughter and the parents were eating chocolate chip cookies. The daughter asked for one and the parents said, “No, you don’t like these. They’re yucky.” WHAT? Since when have chocolate chip cookies ever been yucky? I understand that the parents didn’t want their kid to have a cookie, but I didn’t understand why they didn’t just say ‘no, these aren’t for you’ and leave it at that. How dare they LIE to their child?
Well, now I’m the parent. Joe and I really try not to lie to Ella, but sometimes…just sometimes, it’s necessary. The other day we were coming home from the park. Ella was exhausted and had eaten half of her snack, but just didn’t have the energy to finish it. I turned around and looked at her, and she said, “Mommy take my sack. Can I have a yummy bottle?” (yes, she still gets a bottle before bedtime…don’t judge). So I said exactly what I shouldn’t have said, but I said it… “Ok, mommy will fix it.” Then I looked at Joe in complete panic…I didn’t have a bottle and would definitely not be fixing it. I said it for one reason and one reason only…I didn’t want her to flip out. Once she thought that I was fixing a bottle, she was fine and within minutes she was fast asleep. If I had said, “No Ella, I don’t have a bottle,” then she would have screamed the entire way home.
Most of the time, when she asks a question and I know she won’t like the answer, I just ignore it. I don’t give her any response. That way I’m not lying to her, but I’m also not giving her an answer that will cause major Ella drama. For example, this morning Ella got out of bed and came in to see me. She immediately started asking to see daddy. I knew that if I told her Joe was at work, she’d burst into tears and the morning would be a disaster. So, I didn’t say anything. Soon she asked to go see if daddy was in the bathroom. I should have said something, but I didn’t. I let her walk all the way to the bathroom only to find it empty. She was searching high and low for daddy, so I suggested we call him on the phone. This made her happy, so we called Joe and they talked for a couple of minutes. After that she was completely fine. Did I lie…I guess that depends on who you ask. Dr. Phil would say I’m lying by omission. I just say I’m keeping the peace.
All of that said, I have not once, EVER, told Ella that chocolate chip cookies were yucky! Besides, if I did, she’d know I was lying…she’s already had chocolate chip cookies and she loves every bite!
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