Well, we made it through the first week of kindergarten and
now we’ve started the second week. To
put it lightly, the first week was rough.
We’ve been preparing Ella for this for 2 weeks, ever since
K-Prep. The week before school
officially started we went to the school and met with the nurse and Ella’s
aide. Both are wonderful women who only
want Ella to have a successful year. I
showed both women how to take Ella to the bathroom, what to do if she needs new
covers on her arms or anywhere else, when and when not to freak out, etc. Joe and I knew it was going to be a tough
start, but we hoped and prayed for the best.
Since Monday was Labor Day, Ella started school on Tuesday
morning. Unfortunately her anxiety got
the best of her and she woke up at 2 am crying because she was so scared to go
to school. Tuesday morning was full of
tears. Ella was beyond nervous and had
countless questions about what was going to happen that day and when I was
going to come get her. Shockingly I held
it together until we were walking away from the school. As we were leaving it suddenly hit me, we
have a kindergartener, and then the tears started flowing. At least Ella didn’t see the tears, I think
that would have sent her over the edge.
She ended up calling me twice from school. While not ideal, I’d much rather her call
than me have to go down there. And both
times she seemed much better when we got off the phone. I think she just needed to know I was still
here.
Wednesday, Thursday and Friday were still rough, but things
got better every day. She still had a tough
time in the morning and being dropped off, but she only called me once each
day, and on Thursday she wasn’t even crying.
Every afternoon when I picked her up she was smiling and said she had a
good day.
It’s not easy being a parent to a kindergartener. Every day I question whether or not we’re
doing the right thing. The school is
wonderful and all of the administrators have been fabulous in making sure
everything Ella needs is taken care of, but it’s so hard not to question
whether or not she’s really ready for this.
Kindergarten is a big deal, and going for 6 ½ hours is an even bigger
deal. Every day I question if we should
homeschool her, question if we should have held her back in preschool for
another year, question whether we should have sent her to a smaller, private
school that would let her go a half day.
The only real comfort I have found is that I know Ella’s not
alone. We have heard dozens of stories
from other friends who are going through the same thing, or have gone through
it in the past. Several of Ella’s
friends at church (without additional health concerns) had severe anxiety
leading up to school and would also wake up with nightmares about what was
going to happen. Even some of the most
social children I know have had a hard time adjusting to this new adventure. Many of our friends whose kids are now grown
share stories of how their children would cling to their leg for weeks or
months because they were so afraid to go to kindergarten.
All of the struggles Ella has faced going to kindergarten
are completely unrelated to her EB. It’s
a big step and she’s nervous about it.
Growing up is hard.
On a good note, today was a bit better. She still woke up crying, but she didn’t cry
the whole way to school…progress. I gave
her a little heart sticker to keep on her shirt to remind her that mommy is
with her and loves her forever. She said
that made her feel better. And she did
cry a little bit when we dropped her off, but she didn’t fight against going
into the building…progress. Last week
her daily phone calls were between 10 and 10:30, but on Friday she didn’t call
until around 12:15. It is now 1:00 and I
haven’t heard from her yet today...progress.
In another big step, we took Ella to her own Sunday School
class yesterday. For the past 5 years we’ve
just taken her to big church with us, which means not only has Ella not gone to
her own Sunday School class, but Joe and I haven’t been able to go either. Now that she’s 5 and thinks much deeper about
things, she’s really started asking a lot of questions. She’s very interested in heaven and whether
or not people can see us when they’re up there.
She’s also very interested in how Jesus can live in heaven AND in her
heart. Joe and I decided that this is
the time for her to go to class with her friends and learn all about the bible,
Jesus and all of Jesus’ friends in the bible.
We dropped her off yesterday (with many tears) and we were able to go to
our own Sunday School class! It was so
great to be with all of our friends again and talk with people we haven’t
really been able to talk to in awhile.
While we were gone Ella did great in her class. When we picked her up she was so glad to know
that it wasn’t nearly as long as regular school and that we were still in the church
building. She was also really glad to
learn that she still gets to go to big church with us (her favorite part of the
week…she loves the music).
It’s been a week with a lot of change and trying new
things. That’s tough on a little girl
who doesn’t like change. On top of all
of this, she’s had to start a new bedtime so that she can get enough sleep for
school (she has to be there at 7:50 am, which means she has to be in bed no
later than 7:30 pm), which means we can no longer have dinner as a family (Ella
is completely crushed by this), and also means that daddy doesn’t get to tuck
her in (nighttime is their special time together). It has been a lot. I’m just praying that this week goes smoother
than last week, and that each week we see improvement. She has to grow up, but it’s hard to let it
happen.
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